I am Falling in love with my best friend
So I have been friends with this guy for over 3 years. When we first met it was more so for dating purposes.
After we hung out I started to like him. Then I fell in love with him, told him how I felt and he said we could try and see how things worked out. Well after maybe 3 weeks of “trying” he told me he didn’t think it would work out for reasons he told me.
I’d like to say I got over him, but I don’t think I had. We are best friends now, I tell him everything. I’m so in love with him, I told him I had feeling for him again, and it didn’t affect anything. I feel lost because I wnt him in my life so badly but I feel depressed all the time.
Everytime I see him I get so excited but then after he leaves or the next day I just feel like laying in bed and crying, which half the time I do. If we are hanging out and his is just sitting there on his phone I get upset and feel like I’m boring, though if I hang with my girlfriends, we are on our phones all the time.
I get mad at him over things I normally don’t care about, so we end up in fights quite often, they usually only last about 30 mins then we are back to being ok.
I’m not myself with him, I feel I’m always in the dumps with him, and I’m such a bubbly, happy, laidback and care free person, but I’m not with him. I know what he is like in relationships, he cheats, lies, and I knows heart would be broken if we actually did date, and I would never go after a guy if I knew he was like that.
He claims I’m one of his best friends yet half the time he bails on me when we have plans. I’m just lost and don’t know what to do. I know the best thing to do would be to remove him from my life but the thought makes me so sad and I’m not strong enough emotionally to do that. I dunno what to do