I have been rejected before, but never like this?

by Jake
(New York)

Hello, I recently met a girl a few weeks ago at a local singles event through a mutual friend. We hit it off good. After spending the rest of the night hanging out and going to another bar location after the event,

we eventually said our goodbyes, exchanged info, and I pecked her on the cheek. Over the next week or so, we texted back and forth daily to great vibes. Her birthday was then the following weekend, so she texted me that morning inviting me to meet her out.

I brought a friend and we went. Everything seemingly was great, the usual signs of progression took place(sitting on my lap, hand holding) and at the conclusion of the night I walked her to her car. I planned to kiss her regardless, but she beat me to the punch and pulled me in. At that point, I began to have thoughts of a possible dating situation.

The next day was her actual birthday, so I sent her a cute little thing by text that afternoon saying happy birthday and can’t wait to see you again. She then didn’t respond the rest of the day (despite requesting me as a friend on facebook that morning?) and most of the following day until finally, the following night, she said, thanks for the birthday wishes.

I thought this was odd, but decided to just proceed normally rather then questioning anything. We again texted a bit, I made her laugh a few times as I had been doing the week prior and when we hung out.

Again, things seemed normal. I figured I should mention seeing her again, so, I then sent the following text: “lets hang out again, I want to get to know you better not via text.

I think you’re fun and a good kisser.” I didn’t think that was too extreme? Regardless, I haven’t heard from her since. That was about 5 days ago. I usually don’t get too bothered by a girl not being interested, but the way this transpired has me completely boggled.

I haven’t sent another text, because I don’t want to seem desperate or needy, although I am dieing to know what could have possibly happened. Her mutual friend had told me the night I met her she is definitely single and looking, so it is not a case of another guy.

If you have any insight as to what might have gone wrong please let me know. I have been rejected by girls before and just moved on, but never like this, which is why it is bothering me. What might have happened and how should I proceed? I don’t want to come off needy and like I am chasing her. Please help.

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I have been rejected before, but never like this?

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How To Handle Rejection From A Girl
by: Dave Anan

Most times in relationships when girls develop cold feet we often wonder if it is what happened or the way we acted the previous day but it could just be a back log of negative attitude or character we portrayed while the tango lasted.

You seem to know a thing or two about women psychology… from what you said…”I don’t want to come off needy and like I am chasing her.” but then you still need to advance beyond being able to hold off to being able to magnet pretty girl and make them stay.

You had your chances and I think you still have a good chance of straightening things or making amends (I hope you are not thinking of apologizing), you just need to make the right move and discover how really easy it is to date pretty girls.

First, stop calling her or sending text messages, don’t complain or ask why she decided to forget you… with the often accompanying ‘after all we’ve been through together’

I know you are running high on desperation and wild uncertainty, if you move in to solve the problem too quickly, you may cause a permanent crack.

Have you called her?? Or did she call you?

by: Jake

Dave, I appreciate your advice and prompt response. I know where I will be coming in the future for advice along with sending others.

In response to a few of the things you mentioned. There was never any negative attitude displayed at any point, so I don’t think that could be the issue. I would like to think I know a thing or two about woman and I have had very attractive girlfriends in the past, this particular situation has me puzzled though. I am certainly not thinking of apologizing or asking what happened, I know that’s a surefire way to ruin it. As I mentioned in my original post, after she didn’t respond to my text about hanging out about 5 days ago, I haven’t attempted to contact her in anyway. As far as your question about calling, again, there has been no attempts to contact her from me since that last text I sent about hanging out and none by her as well. We never really talked on the phone much anyway though, most all of the communication was done via texting. I knew continuing to text her or trying to contact her after she didn’t respond would be the wrong move, so I have just been sitting tight.

You mentioned I still have a chance of straightening things out. While I know it’s not a good attitude to have, focusing on one girl, I still want to attempt to solve this puzzle. You say I need to make the right move next, what move do you think that might be? Normally I can pinpoint what I might have done to scare a girl off, but in this situation everything seemed so great when we hung out and was progressing seamlessly, or so I thought. Then she seemed to do a 180 over the next 48 hours.

What do you think Dave? Thanks again.

How To Handle Rejection
by: Dave Anan

Hello Jake,
Few times in relationships and even in the history of mankind stuff happens that is often beyond human explanation or comprehension but then what we do in a time like that is to wonder or explore or analyze visible facts to find what actually went wrong.

but that is just where we make the mistake. At this point (if you haven’t spoken with her for the past few days) you can place a call and ask how she is doing, sound enthusiastic. don’t ask her out or say anything commitment-wise just sound interesting.

Hello ann, how are you doing I had a fabulous day today and just thought it would be nice to say hi to you,

I have been pretty occupied with stuff and then some (sound weird and confident),… (why you haven’t called her)

do this in less than a minutes and tell her to have a fabulous day! or night.

If with any luck she asks ‘how are you’ tell her you are as sweet as ever’

If you play this very well (it’s not just a game, it is an attitude), it would either get you back together or it wouldn’t.

most times, she would call back or text you in-between 24 hours but if she didn’t call then ask her out enthusiastically and if she turn you down or refused to show up.

Then she is in with some other guy (an ex) in most cases

by: Jake

Dave, I appreciate the insight once again.

The only other thing I would say is, we never talked on the phone during the “tango,” so I feel it would be odd for me to suddenly call her when our communication was done solely via text before. Do you think the suggestions you made about trying to contact her can be done through text and will it still be effective? Obviously this can’t be done in less then a minute because texting is different then calling, so I am trying to figure out what I can do.

Also, not to sound stupid, but you mentioned to say I had a fabulous day and ask how she is doing. If I say that, she probably won’t ask how I am doing because I just told her, right?

Lastly, I don’t think I understand your last paragraph. If she doesn’t respond then I want to ask her out?? Maybe if you can just clarify this for me.

Thanks man. I am thinking of purchasing your book at some point, especially if you dig me out of this hole 🙂

Dealing with rejections
by: Dave Anan

Now I get it.

It is not completely matured to keep a text message driven relationship, at some point you’ve got to make the Real Man move

I said “and if she didn’t call back in-between twenty four hour,” call again and ask her out….

And I don’t think it would be weird if you call out of the blues, take off the lid and make the call or what else do you call stepping up the game??

Chicks Made Easy happens to be one of the best ever written real men guide to the pretty world of pretty girls, it heralds lots of fun and interesting tips about dating girls, tales of my day to day bustle with the world of sweet chicks and it just got better!

I advice you to only buy it is you Really need it and not as some sort of compensation as I don’t demand any.

I have a desire to help you as well as many other guys to succeed with their dream girlfriends against all odds and the arrangement have even soured beyond my expectation in all ramification.

here is an interesting article about Dealing with the fear of rejection while approaching girls

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