I want to date my best friend, but she is with someone else and I may have screwed things up.
My story is somewhat of a long one so please bare with me. I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I went to college in fall of 2010. I hooked up with a girl and she hurt me badly. So while I was heart broken, I began talking to a girl I knew from high-school.
We weren’t friends in high school but we somehow began to become friends at this point in time. She had just come out of a bad relationship so we were able to relate to each others problems. Soon she invited me to eat Thanksgiving dinner with her family. I started to feel like she liked me so I gathered up the courage to ask her out. The day after Christmas, I asked her out.
I bought her a big teddy bear and some candy to help. She turned me down, although she did find it adorable how I stuttered when asking her. But she said she didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Time went on and we stayed good friends. Soon she decided I was her best friend. I dated other girls and she was, at one point, the furthest thing from my mind.
I remember her getting a new boyfriend and it not phasing me in the least. When it came time for spring break at my school, I returned to my hometown. She asked me to come see her a few times, and so I did. Throughout that whole week, she would turn down spending time with her boyfriend so she could spend time with me.
Time went on and I started talking to a new girl. My best friend from back home became very jealous. She texted me frantically the whole time I was talking to this new girl. One Saturday, I had a date planned with my new lady friend. My best friend found out and wanted me to come see her instead.
I started to think, maybe she likes me now. So I told my new lady friend to wait until next week. My best friend and I went bowling together and it was the most fun I had in my life. On the way back to school, she texted me and said I was amazing. I was starting to fall in love with my best friend and I felt she was doing the same. When the next weekend came, we watched movies at her house.
We watched a horror flick and she laid down on my chest on the couch. When she woke up and realized what she did, she felt embarrassed and she apologized. I told her I didn’t mind it at all. So I planned on spending the next weekend with her when all of a sudden, her “high school sweet heart” who had dumped her, asked her back out.
She admitted that she liked me but she said she loves him. So I went into a depression. She noticed and felt bad, so she made a trip to my school to surprise me one night. We watched movies and had a lot of fun in my dorm room. When we went to bed, I started to rub her neck.
I don’t know what I was thinking but one thing led to another and we had sex. We vowed not to let it ruin our friendship and so far it hasn’t. So here I was, I had just had sex with my best friend and she was about to date her ex. She dated her ex and I stayed friends with her. I tried to act like I didn’t mind when she talked about her new boyfriend, when in reality it hurt bad.
We spent most of the summer together and still had fun. About halfway through the summer, he dumped her again. I thought I would get a second chance, but no. She went on a “I don’t care” spree and dated guys that only wanted her for sex. They would treat her bad and I would tell her she was worth more than that.
She would agree, but then go right back to them. This led to us fighting. We had several fights, almost like a married couple. So I decided I didn’t need this hurt. I left her alone for a while. When it came time for school to start again, she wanted to spend time with me before I left. By this time her “high school sweet heart” had asked her back out again! So we spent the day together and she told me about all sorts of problems she has with him.
She said I always make her feel better when she is upset and she missed when we hung out and we wouldn’t fight. I took all the blame for the fights but she refused to let me. She said it was her fault. So I went back to school and a friend of mine gave me the idea to stop chasing her and make her want me. So I would only text her if she texted me and I would only say a few things then tell her I had to go to class or something (which was a lie).
So she started to tell me she really missed me, but I responded with “I’m only an hour away.” My plan was to make her think I don’t care so much, but I’m really not sure if I’m doing it right.
So I texted her the other day and told her I’m coming back to town and that I wanted to take her out to eat and then go to the movies. These plane will fall through tomorrow and I’m wondering how I should act. I want to make her like me again. I think it will help if I make her jealous, but I’m really not sure.
Maybe this can be my chance to show her how fun I can be and amaze her like I did when we went bowling. So, should I pour my feelings out on her or should I just keep playing it cool and act like I don’t really care?
Am I doing this right so far? And if I do take her out and it goes well, should I stay away for awhile and act like I’m having fun in college or should I visit her every weekend? Please help me if you can, this girl means the world to me.