Is she attracted to me and has feelings towards me or not?

by Mike
(Orange, CA, Orange)

Hi Coach,

My situation involves this young lady early to mid 20’s that, who’s in a very serious relationship, I’ve known for about 1.5 years. She works at a financial institute where I go to conduct my transactions. In the beginning, when we first met she was very normal to me. Some people might say looks cute with a very nice body. She and I are from the same culture and religion.

After a while we began to converse, she like to talk, we established a rapport and eventually became friends on facebook. Her other co-worker at that time was also a friend of mine on facebook. One day the co-worker of hers acted unprofessional and I went and complained to the manager about her and for some reason the manager that I was complaining about the other friend as well, and that’s why they both ended up deleting and blocking me from their facebook.

Later in the future the co-worker was fired for other reasons not pertinent to me. Meanwhile me and the young lady maintained our normal conversations and many times I see other clients waiting in line and out of courtesy make it look like I am ready to leave and she still continuous to talk to me. The day before she went on her trip she and I kind of flirted saying things like, I’m going to find you a wife while I’m over there how do you want her, and I said I want her from where you are originally from she placed her hand over her heart and leaned back in awe and I want her the same age as you, she placed her hand over her heart and leaned back in awe once again, then she asked do I want her as pretty as her or prettier, this is where I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and we stopped.

The day she was coming back to work I decided to send her a vase of roses with a very generic note saying something like welcome back, I know it’s not a good feeling to come back to work the day after vacation so deal with it. Later on that day I needed to go there and she assisted me but her behavior was a little on the cold side and I asked how was your trip and right away she said there are alot of our culture there so if you want to marry some one you should go over there and I playfully smiled raised my arms and said I’m not caring for any marriages right now and she giggled and smiled.

I became very good friends with her other worker a male and we started hanging out. One time she saw on his facebook profile that we were hanging out and the next day at work she asked him and said are you guys gay? My response to that when he told me I said the next time we go out we are going to put the names of the girls we know as if they came out with us and so we did. The following day at work she asked him if the girls were all over me, if they fought for me and why, etc.

He said that since she has so many questions she should hang out with us next time and see for herself, her reaction was with paranoia and she said I can’t I can’t I’m in a very serious relationship. One time she asked if I knew anyone that has experience in retail and that their company was hiring, she asked why don’t I work there and I said that it’s not my kind of work.

One day I joked around about closing my accounts and she asked just the business account? and I said both personal and business and she backed from her counter with her hand on her hip and loudly said why, why? Are you serious? The disappointment on her face was priceless and then I said just kidding. There was a time when I didn’t show up for a month and she would ask our buddy of my where about.

One time I disappeared for about two months and she asked our buddy what happened to me. One time he told her that I was going in on Wednesday which was her day off at that time and she replied with an attitude and shaking her shoulders saying why? because I’m not here well I’m off anyways? The next day he told her that I didn’t show up and that I haven’t been there since the last time we spoke and she didn’t say a word.

While I was gone for about two months I had a local bagel coffee shop deliver bagels and mochas, one being a special flavor she likes which I gave her before, and they told her that this drink is specifically for her and she was like really? When our buddy showed up for his shift, she told him that I brought them the stuff and when he came back from checking it out he said I want to try that drink, her response was very aggressive saying: don’t touch that, don’t touch that, that’s mine.

One day she grabbed his cell phone and saw the text he and I sent to each other and she saw that I had called their ex co-worker female, she was like why is he calling her, tell him that she has a boyfriend. The next day that ex co-worker went to their work place and the first thing the young lady said asked her was did he call you? did he call you? He brought me flowers, he brought the entire office starbucks, he apologized to me.

Every time we converse and I say something that attracts her I try to look for the body language and this is what I see: Her head tilts to the side and looks at me from the corner of her eyes, She fiddles with an object, in this case a key cahin, while talking to me, when she wants to make a compliment about the way I’m dressed up she leaves to the end right before I leave and looks down while she’s saying it.

Having said all that, One time her manager told her that she thinks that I have feelings for her but we never discussed it. And not to long ago I brought it up and she was like don’t make a big story out of it, ,dont make it a big deal, I took it as don’t mention it to the manager or any one else so that it doesn’t spread and somehow her man find out.

I reassured her that I’m not an idiot and that I’m not going to confront the manager. I was trying to make a point by showing her that the manager was right about my feelings. I haven’t seen her in two weeks and today our buddy who transferred to another location went to that old place and he stopped by my location first where I was not available at that time.

He told me that he would be at that place. I call him to let him know I’m back at my place and asked him of his where about and he said that he had to go drop something off, my feeling was that they went together to and ice cream shop and sure enough I found out they did, then I saw them standing outside the workplace talking while she was eating her ice cream and she kept looking my way of the workplace, they don’t see me and I was wondering if she was looking to see If I was going to see them and she would go back inside if I was or she was hoping for me to spot them and join them. I wasn’t to sure.

So this is my long short story of my situation and I want to know if she is attracted to me, which I feel she is and if she has feelings towards me but is lost or uncertain due to her serious relationship with someone else. Also, what my next step should be and how I should go about it. Many thanks in advance for your time, effort and assistance. I am looking forward to your reply.

Comments for
Is she attracted to me and has feelings towards me or not?

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I think She Is AttractedTo you?
by: Anonymous

Hello Mike,
I love to read detailed post and yours is one of them. I read through your post looking to see were you would say ‘…and I called her or I asked her out’ and was surprised completely, do you hang out together… alone? have you asked her out before??

You don’t need to keep wondering if she is interested or fascinated about you, it is very obvious. what you need to do is to take the first step, she has been waiting for a long time for that to happen and please you need to forget about anybody she claims to be dating.

I mean – don’t try to please him or approach cautiously so you don’t get caught by him, just go for her with boldness if you really want her and stop thinking that somebody is stopping you.

Women like to hang out with real tough and confident guys and you need to learn to become one. learn to be in charge, learn to say “let’s do this” instead of asking ‘what do we do,’ men don’t ask such questions and which is more; it turns women off.

What you really need is a complete Change in Attitude and Increase in Self Confidence

You need to assume the position of the man and get her for your self.

my initial questions:

Does she visit you or go out on a date with you??

and do you call her?

Does she call you?


Hello Coach
by: Mike

Thanks for the reply. To answer your questions, no she does not visit me, nor do we go out on a date and no she doesn’t call me

Still Wondering If She is Attracted to you??
by: Anonymous

Why not ask her out and see how it goes??

Is she attracted to me and has feelings towards me or not?
by: Anonymous

That is my plan for Monday

Great!
by: Dave Anan

Just keep me posted and don’t forget that you can do much better if you read the complete version of the world’s number one real men dating ebook – Chicks Made Easy. It has been reputed to work miracles! And sporadically improve your self confidence The magic happens when you actually read it, getting it is not enough.

How to Ask Her Out
by: Mike

Thanks I will read it soon and apply it because I really need it.

So I didn’t get the chance to ask her out because the situation didn’t allow me to do so. However, I spoke to our friend last night and asked him what is up. Refer back to my story of when they went together to get ice cream during her break. When I called he said he was on his way to drop something off and I had the feeling they went together to the ice cream shop but didn’t say anything. Well he told me that when I called him at that moment she told him to not mention to me that she is with him. Why would she say such a thing? Also after they came back they stood outside her office next to her car while finishing her ice cream which was a god 15-20 minutes, and he told me that he told her that I am going to meet him there and she finished her ice cream fast and said that her break is ending so she went back in, I’m not sure if he said that and she went in right away or he said that and they continued to hang out until her break was really ending and she had to go back in. So what is your take on this now? What would she say to tell me that she’s not with him? It makes me reconsider asking her out. How should I confront her about it? I really want her to know that I know and I learned that I should do it in a cocky funny way, so what would be the best way to do that? Thanks.

Is she attracted to me and has feelings towards me or not?
by: Dave Anan

You need to stop the jealous thought immediately! According to chicks made easy ‘it is almost impossible to get a girl to turn away from a new boyfriend when you approach her from a jealous boyfriend angle’ you can never get a girl to look back at you when you approach her from a jealous guy angle.

Try to clean up the sunken face it makes you look in-confident and immature. Take your time, build yourself, you need to start seeing women from a new and different angle.

Guys like you are the reason I created this site in the first place and I know you will likely look back few months from now and wonder what if you didn’t find this site. if you read and practice my tips, you will surely find success with women.

Even if you lose the present one, you will learn to get a better and prettier person

Keep looking up new pages, get chicks made easy as soon as possible and you will find the answer that you seek.

do keep me posted!


Does she have feeling towards me or not?
by: Mike

Ok, so I finally did it and was able to ask her out. This is how it happened. When I had walked in she was not at her desk, and while I was waiting in line she was coming back to her area she was walking behind me and went around the counter to get to her desk. While she was walking obviously she noticed me and I turned back to look at her and she was looking down then looked up at me said hello and I replied (She seemed kind of shy). When she got to her window I approached and she asked how I was doing and I said good and vice versa, she seemed kind of quite once again and I said you are quiet and calm, and she kind of giggles and responds with yeah I am quiet, then I asked are you shy and she giggles again I’m not shy who am I shy from? But I can tell she was with the way she is saying it. Then I give out my checks for transaction and she begins talking about the windy day we are having and asked if I walked or drove there. So we had a little conversation, then when she was doing her work I asked her if she likes sushi and she said yes, then I said let’s go have sushi for lunch, her reply was Today?! Her eyebrows were raised and she said it with little energy or enthusiasm, then I said yeah, she then said I brought my lunch today then squatted down while looking at me and smiling and grabs the container that is filled with her lunch and shows it to me for proof. Then she talks a bit more about how bringing food from home has helped her lose some wait which believe you me she doesn’t need it and I told her that, I said don’t be stupid/silly you don’t need it. Then I said so you won’t change your mind and have sushi? it’s a lot tastier than your lunch. She said no but thank you with a smile then right away she admits going to the ice cream shop on Saturday with our friend her ex-coworker and I said I know and said do you remember when I called him and he said that he was dropping something off? She said yeah, I said I had a feeling that you guys we’re together going there and I was going to say that but decided not to, I said this with a smile. Then I said ok maybe next time and we said good bye. So that’s what happened today and what is your take on it?

Is she attracted to me and has feelings towards me or not?
by: Dave Anan

I think you will drastically improve as the day goes by, but then you still need to apply a little more adjustment to your attitude.

Don’t persuade a girl when she says no to a date ‘alright, just pray I get the chance to do this again’ would do.

And never ever ask a women to tell you when she would be free to go on a date with you, say something like ‘let’s hang out on Friday evening’

all the same; you are doing OK, I guess.

update
by: Anonymous

Hi coach,

Here is an update. So I did get to see her the following week from when I asked her for lunch, but I did see her yesterday. She was formal with me, usually she would be like hi Mike as I approach her window, but this time while I was waiting in line she was like I can help you here. Then I had the checks laid out and she was like they’re all for business? And I said yeah. Other than that she would be quiet, then I would ask her if she’s ok, and she’s like I’m good speaking calmly. Then I ask her if she upset with me and she says huh I’m not upset with you. Then it got quiet again, then her manager begins to talk to me and while I was talking to the manager, who is sitting behind the girl I like, I can see from the corner of my eye that she was looking at me then she abruptly looks away and down without me even taking a glance at her. As I handed out my cash for deposit and ask for a cash back I tell her you’re very quiet today and she doesn’t say anything then I was like this is not typical of you, by the way when I ask her these things I’m doing so in a fun tone. As she was making the deposit the manager once again talks to me and the girl is looking at me and the first time ever forgets to give me my change and catches herself doing she opens her drawer and hands me my change, then she says have a good day and I say you to and I leave. She was a bit more quiet this time than two weeks ago. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, some if her behavior yesterday is similar to what I would do when I’m nervous around somone I like, could this be the case or is she trying to keep it distant. I want to give her one last chance to asked her out to lunch but that behavior is holding me back. What do you think of this coach? Thank you.

You Can Attact Any Girl You want
by: Dave Anan

Hello,
I know you can date anybody you chose if you approach her the right way. It is not all about asking her out, you need to be able to get her to say yes and also show up and don’t think you can achieve this by pestering her every now and then or calling every minute to remind her.

You need to see this very interesting article about
How To Ask Out A Girl

You don’t need to beg any girl to hang out with you you don’t even need to ask, in your own case (as it seems) the pretty girl is already totally into you so just make the real man move. You know her very well, you know her free hours, just tell her you want to see her on (tuesday by 3pm), just stop trying to make it look right and simple and nice, stop acting nicely so you don’t screw up.

Everything looks nice when you do them confidently.

Just ask her out already and you will do just fine

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