Want a mans perspective
I contacted a man online 4 months ago. After the initial contact I let him take the lead. He never called but texted immediately.
We ended up meeting very last minute for a date and clicked quickly. the sparks were there! He was quick to text and check in with me. Asked when we could meet again.
Early on, I addressed the subject of calling rather then just texting and he threw out an “I really dont like sitting on the phone, I want to talk to you in person” response.
I caved to this term. We had 3 great dates. The 3rd ended with sex. After that, he would contact me to see if I was available for same day dates. He asked if this offended me.
I don’t mind this behavior occasionally and wanted to seem easy going so I said it was okay as long as I didn’t already have plans. Since then, we have been seeing each other weekly.
He usually texts on a Friday. Sometimes I’m available and sometimes I’m not. When I’m not, he quickly asks for Saturday. I have told him that some advance notice helps me to make time for him.
This guy is 42 and never married. He has dated a lot more then me and seems to be hung up on dating drama. I’m not very dramatic and often let things roll off of my shoulders but also know that its important to teach others how to treat you.
I realize that I have allowed him to continually gain my affection with the least amount of work. Last week I went out of town and since he didn’t contact me until the weekend, he did not know where I would be.
He texted me all day and I was out of range. When I finally contacted him back, he asked if I was avoiding him since he didn’t call often. I played it cool but did suggest that calling would be easier sometimes.
I also said that our lack of communication has not allowed me to fill him in on my ever changing schedule, and that when he wanted to know more about me all he has to do is ask…I’m not gonna push him.
He is very slow to move on a relationship. I think this is good because too many people rush into things. But he doesnt often want to meet more then once a week.
He calls this ” keeping it natural”. On the up note: He always brings up marriage ( almost as if he’s thinking outloud). We have great conversations. He is very attentive. Our time spent together is indeed quality.
Also, he allowed an ex girlfriend and her daughter to stay at his home
recently. The had been evacuated from an apartment fire and called him in the middle of the night.
He CALLED me first thing the next morning to let me know about this. He wanted to be honest and not cause future drama.
So here lies my question: Do I pull away from this man and hope that he figures out what I need to make this work? Do I tell him what I need, even though I knowing that men need to come to these conclusions themselves? Do I carry on and hope that it improves as we get closer?