Want a mans perspective

by cherry
(Chicago)

I contacted a man online 4 months ago. After the initial contact I let him take the lead. He never called but texted immediately.

We ended up meeting very last minute for a date and clicked quickly. the sparks were there! He was quick to text and check in with me. Asked when we could meet again.

Early on, I addressed the subject of calling rather then just texting and he threw out an “I really dont like sitting on the phone, I want to talk to you in person” response.

I caved to this term. We had 3 great dates. The 3rd ended with sex. After that, he would contact me to see if I was available for same day dates. He asked if this offended me.

I don’t mind this behavior occasionally and wanted to seem easy going so I said it was okay as long as I didn’t already have plans. Since then, we have been seeing each other weekly.

He usually texts on a Friday. Sometimes I’m available and sometimes I’m not. When I’m not, he quickly asks for Saturday. I have told him that some advance notice helps me to make time for him.

This guy is 42 and never married. He has dated a lot more then me and seems to be hung up on dating drama. I’m not very dramatic and often let things roll off of my shoulders but also know that its important to teach others how to treat you.

I realize that I have allowed him to continually gain my affection with the least amount of work. Last week I went out of town and since he didn’t contact me until the weekend, he did not know where I would be.


He texted me all day and I was out of range. When I finally contacted him back, he asked if I was avoiding him since he didn’t call often. I played it cool but did suggest that calling would be easier sometimes.

I also said that our lack of communication has not allowed me to fill him in on my ever changing schedule, and that when he wanted to know more about me all he has to do is ask…I’m not gonna push him.

He is very slow to move on a relationship. I think this is good because too many people rush into things. But he doesnt often want to meet more then once a week.

He calls this ” keeping it natural”. On the up note: He always brings up marriage ( almost as if he’s thinking outloud). We have great conversations. He is very attentive. Our time spent together is indeed quality.

Also, he allowed an ex girlfriend and her daughter to stay at his home
recently. The had been evacuated from an apartment fire and called him in the middle of the night.

He CALLED me first thing the next morning to let me know about this. He wanted to be honest and not cause future drama.

So here lies my question: Do I pull away from this man and hope that he figures out what I need to make this work? Do I tell him what I need, even though I knowing that men need to come to these conclusions themselves? Do I carry on and hope that it improves as we get closer?

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Want a mans perspective

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A Mans Perspective on relationship
by: Anonymous

What you need to know is if your man is ready for a long time relationship or just looking for an essy route to get weekend fun.

If I understand you correctly, you want him to draw closer, get a soul to soul conversation (communication) you want you guys to really get going in the right direction. And yes, most times it is the man that should come to that conclusion, you just certainly won’t be able to make him see reasons except he comes to the realization himself.

But the major issue is learning what he calls you in his closet.

Sorry it took me a bit of time to get back to you, I want to know if I answered your question.

In a relationship, it is often necessary to walk away is the guy isn’t interested in you but your “body,” But then you need to be sure that he only invites you over when he needs it and not when he is in need of you

more perspective
by: cherry

Thank you for the feedback. I find myself in a grey area with this man. I’ve had experience with bootycallers and don’t believe he is souly driven by testosterone. We usually go out. Dinner
, movies…etc. we talk for hours before inevitably going home to roll around ;). Perhaps he knows just how much is required to keep me from thinking its just physical. He always wants me to stay. Wants to cuddle all night. He wants to please me when we are together. When we are apart I feel invisible. He occasionally checks in but the distance is strong. He has addressed this and says he moves slowly as a persons true colors are revealed over time. Just about every issue I’ve had, he has later brought up to address when we communicate in person. Last night he texted admit g me to be patient as he still has unolanned house guests. That they would be leaving in a week and we would be reunited. I texted him this message: you are doing a truly kind thing And I believe that you are a very good man. As for me, I am patient by nature. I tend to respond to actions more then words. And, I prefer closeness to distance. So, if you really want me, just show me. Actions speak loudly. I have not yet received a response. I plan to call instead of text from here on out to show him what I need and allow him to hea
r the ease in my voice. Im not
yet looking into the future. I realy just want to enjoy the present with him.

Am I behaving unreasonably. I think ive had a self help book overdose. Having a man’ s perspective is very different then the typical female advice. Pulling back seems logical but I kind of feel like he is testing me.

Want a mans perspective on my dating life
by: Dave Anan

Most advice to girls are often written by other women that have been in such situation and believe to have mastered or understood men. Most times it is necessary to have a guy around that is just a friend.

When it comes to men, there is really nothing as testing, what you are seeing is the original version of the man, you can chose to hang around if it suits you or take the next turn when you get the chance

When a man is searching for a wife or a life partner he is often not really sure about the kind of woman he wants so he goes on dating spree with the hope that he would find a perfect wife

If he is a real man with a heart, he would be careful and precise or he wouldn’t be. Then eventually he would look back at forty and believe that he had only been unfortunate with women.

At that age every other girl would think he is tired of playing games but he is still confused.

What he really want is the sex, if you also want that you can keep up with him.

However, he could wake up one morning and discover the need to settle down, then he would bring home a lady any lady on his raider at that moment would do.

But if you are looking for a romantic relationship and probably a visit to your folks at this point in time, I don’t see that happening, he can only give as much as is required to turn you on.

This is the white truth

But you can play hard to get, you can play the amplified test game WITH MY GUIDE AND LEARN IF HE TRULY CAN GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.




thanks!
by: cherry

Thanks! I agree will your advice. I did communicate with o him before receiving your last comments. I finally told him that the distance did not work for me. That I need to know if he is thinking about me. I let him know that I’d be okay if things didn’t work out. That I had no regrets. And that we both deserved to have what we truly want in life. It’s just too short to settle. He then called. He told me that he enjoyed the anticipation that builds up in missing me all week but now understands that it doesn’t work that way for me. He said everything that I wanted to hear. But time will tell if it was just words. Please tell me about the test you offer. Thanks! cherry

A Man Perspective On Relationship Matters
by: Dave Anan

Great that you finally expressly conveyed your heart felt-desire to him, I just hope he would stick to his words to your. Some men do, he may be one of them or not.

about the

Recently we launched Amplified Relationship Coaching supposedly men exclusive, but I can choose to let you in on mens top secrets and mindset.

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