Why she is pushing me away after showing so much interest in me?

by Joe
(boulder)

Dear Coach,

I read some books about atracting young beautiful women and I understand some of the principles. I dated Laura once, we had a blast on that date, we danced, had nice drinks and hangout in a couple of bars. We kissed , huged and hold hands alot.

Everything went fast but she seemed to be very comfortable about how things were happening. I called her after 4 days and she said she was a little scared how things happened so fast, I told her I understood how she was feeling so we decided to go slower.

We dated 2 times more (long dates) we had an amazing time together and at the end of both dates we behaved very affectionate to each other just like in the 1st date. I was confident, I made her laugh, she complimented me alot about my confidence, my dance skills, my job, my looks, my manners, she said “you are definitely a catch” so beacuse of all this things I thoguht SHE WAS INTO ME VERY SERIOUSLY.

So I told her I was interested in her and I would like to get know her better. Then next morning she asked me to meet her for lunch and she says she can not commit anyone right now and it would be better if we stop seeing each other.

She said her studies and new job is her priority right now. I DID NOT EXPECT this coming at all. And unforutnately I showed my dissapointment to her by saying things like: “why are you doing this? doesn’t make any sense” I know it might ve sounded whimp but I couldn’t helped it, this was a huge surprise for me. Anywas I sent her a letter 10 days later saying that I respect her decision and that my friendship iS open to her, that’s it clear and sweet.

She called few days after to invite me to an charity event and during that week we texted and talked over the phone a couple of times. Seemed like, in a way, she was coming back to me. But when I invited her for ice cream one day, she canceled in the last minute and next day sent me a long email.

She said something like ‘I apologize for leading you on and you are a great guy but I m not the girl for you and I dont see myself in a romantic relantioship with you. I really think we shouldn’t see each other again”

what happened here? I acted as friend during that week, she is the one who was contacting me again. I am so confused, you do not behave like she did when you don’t like a guy. She was so into me and suddenly she doesn’t want to see me at all. How can I prevent this from happening again??
Please help



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Why she is pushing me away after showing so much interest in me?

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How to get back close
by: Dave Anan

Hello Joe, I think you are on the right path yet, I can’t see where you went wrong except you knelt down and begged her to turn back on the other romantic version of herself. Seriously, what did you do when she told you she wasn’t ready for a relationship with You?

Some girls are like that – uncertain and often undecided, most time what they really need is a bit of a push (If I Should put it mildly)


why is she pushing me away?
by: Anonymous

Hi couch,
Thanks so much for taking the time in replying. when she called me to meet for lunch (1st time she pushed me away) she said that I was a wonderful guy but that she just didnt have the time for a relationship and that wouldn’t be fair to me. she also said there wasn’t another guy. right after she told me this I told her: “ok, now stop being nice and tell me the truth. I gave that same speech to other girls, I told them is not them, it is me, and you and me know that is a big bull” then she said “I am telling you the truth.”
I didn’t buy that and I said to her: “I don’t get it, you said I am wonderful, nobody ever treated you the way I did and yet you dont want to see me again” I said sarcastically “That makes lots of sense” I was a little mad and I lost my appetite, she noticed it and asked me: are you ok? I said: “not really, I feel so many feelings at this moment, sorry I am only human” then I added:” it would’ve been alot easier if you said I am not your type, cause I know I cant do anything about it” Probably that was whimpy and she noticed I got affected by what she was saying.
But in the letter I sent her after 10 days I explained my reaction and told her I was fine in being her friend and then she called me. What happened here couch?? Laura is only 22 , I am 30. besides beautiful she seemed to be very deep , sweet and mature girl, that is why I am attracted to her. Do I still have a chance? In her last email she was very clear she doesn’t want to see me.

Why she is would push you away?
by: Dave Anan

Hello Joe,
I wrote in ‘Chicks Made Easy’ that even as a dating guru, I still naver dated all the girls I wanted. You can be a real man with an impression amount of confidence, know to communicate effectively and still not be able to date one or some of the girls you feel attracted to, it happens. Some people have issue they wouldn’t wanna talk about, issues they can only resolve personality, some are held back by past relationship experiences while very few people still prioritize other things above a romantic relationship and frankly, they could be on their own right path so I don’t push them or bug them I just walk away and call them ocassionally – the real man way

But the good things is that you can be a Real Man all the way to the top.

You can chose to hang around but not around her, play a bit of hard to get but don’t get into the friends zone completely because you may not get another chance to upgrade.

It would be easier if you know to make her hungry for you. That way, she wouldn’t know when she would beg you to come back

Why is she pushing me away?
by: Anonymous

How can i make her hungry for me again? Seems like she was hungry for me at the beginning and suddenly she stopped. Looks like not even a real man can catch some girls out there.

She said she was friends and hang out for over a year with her previous boyfriends, but she is not even giving me the chance to hang out with her and be a “friend”.

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